Understanding premature ejaculation and how to overcome it
In my practice as a tantric massage therapist, I’ve worked with many men who struggle with premature ejaculation (PE). It’s far more common than people realise, and if you’re experiencing it, know that you are not alone.
Over the years, I’ve had open and honest conversations with clients about their challenges with PE. I’ve also done my own research, and while I’m not a medical expert, I’d love to share what I’ve learned through my practice and from those who have successfully improved their control. I encourage you to explore further, speak to professionals, and find what works best for you.
What is premature ejaculation?
PE happens when a man ejaculates sooner than he or his partner would like during sex. It’s one of the most common sexual concerns—about 1 in 3 men experience it at some point in their lives.
Occasional early ejaculation is nothing to worry about. But if it happens regularly and causes frustration, embarrassment, or affects your relationships, it might be time to explore ways to manage it.
You may have PE if you:
Almost always ejaculate within 1 to 3 minutes of penetration
Find it difficult to delay ejaculation during sex, nearly every time
Feel distressed, frustrated, or start avoiding intimacy because of it
The good news is that premature ejaculation is treatable. With the right techniques, awareness, and sometimes medical support, many men learn to gain control and last longer.
Types of premature ejaculation
Lifelong PE – This has been present since your first sexual experience.
Acquired PE – This develops later in life after previously having normal ejaculatory control.
Some men worry they have PE when they don’t actually meet the medical criteria. It’s normal for ejaculation time to vary depending on the situation—stress, arousal levels, and emotional connection all play a role.
What causes premature ejaculation?
There isn’t one single cause of PE, but it can be influenced by a mix of factors:
Biological factors – Hormone imbalances, inflammation, or certain neurotransmitter issues
Psychological factors – Stress, anxiety, past experiences, or performance pressure
Emotional patterns – A lack of confidence, over-excitement, or deep-rooted beliefs around sex
Pelvic floor weakness – Weak or tense pelvic muscles can lead to less control
A success story, healing PE through breath and movement
Recently, I reconnected with a dear guest I hadn’t seen in a few years. When we first met, he was struggling with PE and wanted to last longer. He was determined to find a solution.
Fast forward to now, and his progress was incredible. He told me that he:
Practiced a simple breathing technique I had shared with him
Did bridge exercises twice a day, every day
His dedication completely transformed his experience!
From my research and experience, I’ve found that two key factors help men develop more control:
Strengthening the pelvic floor (through targeted exercises)
Learning to regulate breath (to control arousal levels)
Techniques to last longer and improve ejaculatory control
If you’re looking to improve control and enhance your experience, try incorporating these practices into your routine:
Pelvic floor strengthening – Exercises like bridges and Kegels improve endurance
Breathwork and tantric techniques – Helps control excitement levels during intimacy
Exercise and yoga – Regular movement improves circulation and nervous system function
Mindfulness and awareness – Noticing when arousal builds and learning to slow down
Helpful videos to get started
I want to share a few great resources that could help you along your journey:
Pelvic floor exercises: 10 min exercise routine to last longer in bed
10 Min. Exercise Routine Last Longer in Bed 🚀 Combat Premature Ejaculation
2. Breathwork technique: tantric breathing for ejaculation control
Tantric Breathing for Ejaculation Control | Tantra with Carla Tara
3. The link between exercise and PE: the surprising truth about exercise and premature ejaculation
The Surprising Truth About Exercise and PREMATURE EJACULATION Nobody Tells You
How tantric massage can help with PE
One powerful yet lesser-known ways to work through PE is tantric massage. Unlike traditional approaches that focus on suppression or control, tantric massage helps by redistributing sexual energy throughout the entire body, rather than keeping it concentrated in the pelvic area.
The benefits of tantric massage for PE:
Helps spread arousal and energy from the genitals to the rest of the body, reducing pressure and intensity
Encourages deep relaxation and awareness, allowing the body to move out of a performance-focused mindset
Creates a safe space for communication, where there’s no pressure to perform, only to explore
Helps the receiver learn conscious control over their arousal through breathwork and body awareness
Works with the stop-and-go technique, allowing the receiver to build stamina and become familiar with different levels of arousal
A skilled tantric practitioner will guide the experience, encouraging communication and adjusting the pace based on your comfort level. Over time, these practices retrain the nervous system, helping you experience pleasure in a more relaxed, expansive way—without the rush to release.
These are just starting points—feel free to explore and see what resonates with you.
Love,
Rosie x