PE from a personal tantric perspective

I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on my experiences with guests who struggle with premature ejaculation (PE). Beyond all the information available online—techniques, exercises, and medical explanations—I wanted to look deeper. What have I personally observed? What patterns have I noticed? And, more importantly, what do I feel could truly help from a Tantra perspective?

Through my work, I’ve come to a few discoveries and insights that I’d love to share.

One of the most striking things I’ve noticed is that my clients who experience PE are, without exception, deeply kind and thoughtful people. They are naturally giving—always looking out for others, ensuring that everyone around them is okay. Their focus is often outward, on taking care of loved ones, being considerate, and creating harmony in their relationships.

They are also highly sensitive—not just emotionally, but physically and energetically. These are the kind of people who feel deeply, who love with their whole hearts, who are moved by music, art, and nature. Their bodies, too, are sensitive. They respond intensely to soft touches, to sensations, even to energy itself.

But with this sensitivity and care for others comes something else: worry. Because they care so much, they often carry a lot of mental and emotional weight. Their minds can be busy, going over situations, replaying conversations, anticipating problems. Their attention is often directed outward—towards making sure everyone else is okay—while at the same time, their thoughts may be racing internally.

This tendency to focus on others and be caught up in the mind can create a subtle but powerful disconnection from the body. When someone is constantly thinking, worrying, or analysing, their energy is pulled away from physical sensations and into their thoughts. This can make it challenging to stay present with their own body, their own pleasure, and their own needs.

And this is key when it comes to PE. Because PE is not just a physical issue, it is deeply connected to awareness, control, and presence in the body.

From a Tantra perspective, the most important shift is bringing attention back to the body and learning to feel safe, grounded, and in control within it.

Besides what I addressed in my previous blog, I would also suggest:

1. Prioritising connection to your body
   Instead of constantly directing energy outward, it’s essential to cultivate a deeper connection with oneself. This means tuning in—asking, “What do I want? What do I enjoy? What makes me feel good?” Exploring one’s own desires and pleasure helps build confidence in both the mind and body.

2. Shifting from thinking to feeling
   Instead of being in the head—overthinking, analysing, or anticipating—learning to drop into the body is key. This means slowing down, breathing deeply, and fully experiencing sensations without rushing through them. A tantric massage can be a place to practice this.

3. Learning to set boundaries

   A powerful part of the healing process is learning to recognise and respect your own boundaries—not only when it comes to saying no, but also when it comes to saying yes to what you truly want. Many men with PE struggle to express their desires, especially in intimate situations. They may focus so much on their partner’s needs that they ignore their own. When we allow ourselves to say yes to what brings us pleasure, we teach our bodies that our needs matter, that they are honoured. This, in turn, brings a sense of safety, trust, and empowerment within the body. On the other hand, learning to say no when something does not feel right is equally important. If the body does not feel safe, it remains in a state of tension or alertness, making it harder to stay present and in control. Honouring both yes and no in an intimate setting helps rewire our relationship with pleasure, trust, and self-awareness, creating a strong foundation for deeper connection and control over one's body.

4. Learning how to receive

   This is something that many people—myself included—struggle with. Receiving is not always easy, especially for those who are naturally giving and used to taking care of others. A Tantric massage is a space where you can practice receiving in a safe and structured way. Here, the roles are clear—there is a giver and a receiver—so you are not expected to give anything back. You can fully relax into receiving, allowing yourself to feel, breathe, and connect with your body without any pressure. When you learn to receive, your body becomes more attuned to pleasure and sensation, helping you gain more control over your energy and responses. It also reinforces the idea that your needs matter and that it’s safe to let go and surrender.

 PE is often seen as a problem to be fixed, but in Tantra, we see it as an invitation—to slow down, to reconnect, and to bring more awareness into the body. Through self-exploration, setting boundaries, movement and intentional practices, control over one’s s*exual energy and body is possible.

The journey I find is not necessarily just about lasting longer—it’s about deepening one’s relationship with pleasure, presence, self trust and self love.

Love,

Rosie x