What is Tantra?
This is going to be a long post, I’ve tried to summarise it as much as I could as tantra is a complex topic.
So, what is Tantra really about? Is it all about sex like Sting suggested? Let's see what I found out and how I understand it at the moment.
The word 'tantra' means liberation through mental expansion – it teaches us that we can become one with the creation by accepting all parts of ourselves and of life.
It is said to be the oldest Eastern spiritual tradition and it first appeared more than 5,000 years ago in India.
Tantra is a path for people wanting to know themselves, deepen awareness and celebrate all aspects of life. The idea of tantra is that it is not so concerned with theories about life, as the direct experience of it. It is not so much a believer’s path, but one of alchemy and a knowing that comes from living. Tantra practitioners also use yoga, meditation and breathing techniques to reach into deeper states of awareness through the body.
Tantra is inclusive —it uses everything in life in order for us to deepen into our nature as human beings. The key word is acceptance and the courage to be vulnerable — in accepting yourself, your desires and your quirks there is an opportunity to deepen and grow. Tantra is about loving everything that is arising in us, unconditionally, that’s why tantra is inclusive. (Easier said than done, but this is the path of tantra, about accepting and loving, not rejecting and dividing).
Tantra is about connection to yourself and to other people. It's about allowing yourself to be seen as you are and this means to have the courage of being vulnerable. Brene Brown is a well known researcher about the power of vulnerability. I feel this video is related to tantra in modern life. (Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability)
These are some ideas from the video that I believe are in line with tantra principles:
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and ask for help when we need
Accept all feelings, we can't selectively numb feelings, if we numb the bad then we numb the good too.
We are imperfect but we are wired for love and connection
Be authentic and real
Let ourselves be seen as we are
Love with all our heart
Practice gratitude and joy
Believe we are enough exactly the way we are by accepting all of us
So an essential idea in tantra is that every part of life is a source for spiritual development – from the deepest meditation to washing the dishes, from grief to joy and happiness. Although tantra is known as the ‘yoga of sex’, it should more accurately be called ‘the yoga of every day life’.
Unlike other systems which attempt to shape us through control and dogmas, Tantra allows us to indulge into our desires with awareness, responsibility and compassion and then they deepen beyond surface desires and needs towards the ultimate desire for love, awareness, meaning and connection.
And now about the hot topic of sexuality :)
Sexuality is included in Tantra but it is not limited to that. To get an idea about it, in the tantra text 'Vigyan Bhairav Tantra' there are 112 methods, and only 6 of these are directly related to sexuality. Life is sexual, the whole energy of life can be seen as sexual energy, of creativity (human beings are created through sexuality), as the interplay of consciousness and love, masculine and feminine energies.
What makes it different, is that in tantra, sex is not only a physical activity, it's seen as a way of deep meditation and worship – it’s a way of connecting with another person and also with the divine. The theory states that the universe was once perfectly united, symbolised by the continuous intercourse of the god Shiva and the goddess Shakti. But something happened and the universe split and creation divided. Tantra aims to recreate the original divine union between Shiva and Shakti. It's like saying that you are looking for your other half, the part to complete you. This union can be seen as an internal union of your masculine and feminine energy (we all have them both) or an external union with another human being.
So tantra it’s not only about sex. The basic idea of tantra is that everything in life can help our spiritual development when done with awareness and from a place of love and truth. Eating healthily, respecting our planet and being kind to yourself and to others are tantra. It's also about feeling at ease in our body and learning how to communicate our boundaries and needs clearly out of respect for our body and our life.
Here are some ways to incorporate tantra into our daily life:
Accept, honour and love your body.
Give yourself a massage or book one with Rosie :)
Cultivate sensuality.
Become aware of the taste of food by eating slowly and enjoying each byte.
Say 'No' without feeling guilty. Have healthy boundaries.
Practise connecting with your partner. Sit in front of each other, hold hands and breathe. Then make eye contact and allow to sync with each other’s breathing. We can do this practice at the beginning of our session if you like.
When I first heard about Tantra, I thought- like most people do- that it was all about sexuality.
I was surprised to find out that actually, sexuality is only about 5% of the tantric knowledge and teachings, as mentioned before. Tantra is in fact a spiritual path and what makes it different from the others is that it doesn’t talk about transcending the body and its desires, like Christianity for example. Tantra trusts the body. Tantra trusts the senses. Tantra trusts the sexual energy. Tantra does not deny anything, but transforms everything. It teaches reverence, love, respect and gratitude for our bodies, including our sexuality. So tantra is a path that unites apparent opposites:
Sexuality with spirituality
Playfulness with depth
Relaxation with stimulation
Meditation with experience
Even though Tantra is a spiritual path, the majority of people who are attracted to it are really looking for intimacy. And in tantra this isn’t judged as a bad thing. Judgement around intimacy means that many people suppress their need for it or try to replace it with shopping, eating, alcohol, drugs, porn, social media and so on. Yet these external things can leave us feeling empty because they can’t fulfil our deep human need for connection.
This is what I would like to bring into my work: connection, true intimacy, embracing the senses, love, vulnerability, emotion, affection, energy, respect, sensuality, purity and all this will create really pleasurable and often transformational experiences.
Love,
Rosie x